Bugün 19.07.2018 - Sitemize Hoşgeldiniz
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Fuat Türker
Fuat Türker

Günümüzde birlikteliklerin temeli genellikle karşılıklı çıkar ilişkilerine dayanıyor. Sevgi, kaynağını Allah sevgisinden almadığı için evlilikler, zamanla hem kadın hem de erkek için ıstırap haline geliyor, birbirleri olmadan yaşayamayacaklarını söyleyen çiftlerin sevgisi, bir süre sonra, şiddetli kavgalarla, karşılıklı suçlama ve hakaretlerle sona eriyor.

Eşi kendisini ütü yapan, bulaşık yıkayan bir makine gibi görüyorsa, kadında sevgi, saygı ve aşk kalmaz, hatta gizli bir nefret meydana gelir. Başlangıçta birbirlerine çekici gelen yakışıklılığı, güzelliği artık göremezler. Evlilik karşılıklı azaba dönüşür. Kavgalar, lâf sokmalar, aşağılama ve hakaretler yaşanır. 

Kadın ve erkek arasında, fiziksel farklılıklar nedeniyle- örneğin kadının güç gerektiren işler yapamaması gibi- bazı farklı sorumluluk paylaşımları olabilir. Ancak bunlar toplumun öngördüğü yemek, çamaşır, bulaşık gibi çok bilinen sorumluluklar değildir. Saydığım bu işleri erkekler de yapabilir. Dinin, bu anlamda, kadına erkekten farklı olarak yüklediği bir görev yoktur. 

Diğer yandan anne, çocuğunu bedensel yönden beslediği gibi, ruhsal açıdan eğitmekle de yükümlüdür. Çocukların ilk öğretmeni olan anneye oldukça önemli görevler düşer. Gelecek nesillerin iyi yetişmesi kendini yetiştirmiş annelerle mümkündür. Anneler, kişiliklerini, davranışlarını, konuşma biçimlerini Kur’an’da bildirilen üstün ahlaka yakışır bir hale getirmeye gayret ettikleri kadar, bilime dair konularda da kendilerini eğitmelidirler. Bütün bu özellikler, çocuklarına verecekleri eğitimde onlara yardımcı olacaktır.
Deccalî fitnenin son derece azgınlaştığı bugün Müslüman kadınlar da, erkekler gibi Kur’an ahlâkını yaygınlaştırmak için, Allah’ın emrettiği fikir mücadelesinin içinde olmalı. Allah’ın emri olan fitne kalmayıncaya kadar mücadele, erkek ya da kadın tüm müminlerin sorumluluğudur. Bu sebeple yaşanan dönem, Müslüman kadın için de yalnızca günlük işlerle uğraşan ev kızı olma zamanı değildir. Kadınlar için örnek olan sahabe hanımlar, Müslümanlar arasında yiğitçe mücadele vermişlerdi. Tebliğ faaliyetleri, sohbetler yapmışlardı. Kısacası Müslüman kadının görevi yalnızca eş ve annelikle sınırlanamaz. Müslüman kadın dini anlatmada pasif durumda kalmamalı, kişilik sahibi, cesur ve atak bir tavır içerisinde olmalı. 

Muhammed’in Hatice’sindeki Güzel Örnek

Hz. Hatice(ra); Resulullah(asm)’ın ilk ve en sevdiği eşi. İçinde oluşan yalnızlık isteği ile, sık sık Mekke yakınlarında Hira mağarasına gittiğinde de eşine destek olan, ilgisini eksik etmeyen kutlu annemiz. O, gençlerin bile zorlukla tırmanabildiği mağaraya, yaşına, sıcağa, baskı ve sıkıntılara rağmen tırmanıp, sevgili eşine yemek ve su taşıyarak derin sevgi, saygı ve bağlılığını ispatlıyordu.

Hatice(ra) ilmi merak, kâinatı okuma ve hayatı anlamlandırma azmi içindeydi. O, her dönem nesne değil özneydi. Resulullah(asm)'a ilk emirler olan "Oku" ve "Uyar"ı muhatap alan ve uygulayan ilk kadın öğretmendi aynı zamanda. Bugün toplumun sisteminin koyduğu yalnızca “evlen”, “doğur”, “büyüt”, “pişir”, “yıka”, “temizle” gibi emirlerin muhatabı olan ve arta kalan zamanlarını ‘harcayan’, arkadaşlarıyla boş sohbetler yapan, geceler boyu dizi film izleyen ve saatlerce üzerine konuşan kimi Müslüman kadınlar için de örnek olmalı Hatice(ra)… O, İslam’a hizmet için yaşın, işin ve uğraşların mazeret olmayacağı mesajını veriyor, Muhammed’i gibi Allah için yaşayarak, O’nun “mümin müminin aynasıdır” hadisinin ne kadar doğru olduğunu kanıtlıyordu.

Hz. Hatice(ra) Resûlullah’ın yükünü hafifletiyor, dilinden hoşlanmayıp karşı çıkılacak bir söz dökülmüyordu. Onun hissettiklerini hissediyor, onu tutkuyla seviyor, şefkatle koruyor ve onunla aynı mekânı ve yalnızca onu yaşıyordu. Kuşkusuz onun güzellikleri, Peygamberimiz (asm)’da da aynı incelik, fedakârlık ve vefa ile karşılık buluyordu. Kimi zaman içi coşkun bir nehir gibi akarken, huzur veren bir dinginlikle, adeta emerek O’nun üzüntüsünü gidermeye çalışıyordu. Hz. Hatice’nin bu özelliğini şu sözlerle dile getiriyordu Peygamberimiz(asm):

“Onun gönlünde hiç kimsede olmayan bir özellik vardı. İnsanın gönlündeki hüznü bir vakum gibi çeker alırdı.”

Bizler evliliğe, eşlerin birlikteliğine bakış açımızın nasıl olması gerektiğini, Kur'an’dan, Peygamberimiz(asm)’ın ve kutlu annelerimizin hayatından öğrenmeliyiz. Evlilik,  Allah sevgisi ve hoşnutluğu üzerine kurulmalı; insan samimi olarak takvayı aramalı. Aksinde Allah mutluluk vermez, huzur vermez. 

YORUMLAR


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